Oh man this is weird. This will probably be my last big email. Next week I will be in Berlin and it will be kind of hard to find somewhere that I can take a lot of time to write a long legit email. I'll see what I can do but we'll just have to see;)
This week went by so fast! I just can't believe that this is my last week on my mission. It...just doesn't feel real. I had the opportunity to give my "final testimony" yesterday in church. They gave me the topic of mothers but also wanted me to share what I have learned on my mission. I will be honest here. When I came on my mission I thought that at the end of my mission I would just love speaking with people and that talking to people would be enjoyable and just second nature. Somethings...somethings never change. Don't get me wrong, I think I have definitely changed a lot but I'm still me;) I have definitely increased in my capacity to talk with people but that doesn't mean that it is my most favorite things ever;) I talked about well...mothers haha. I also talked about what I have learned but I can tell you more about that when I give my talk when I get back.
Last week we had an awesome P-Day. We went to the Miniature Wonderland here in Hamburg. It was absolutely awesome! It is crazy! That was definitely something to come and see when we come back. It started out as a model train set that these two brothers started but it has turned into the worlds largest model train set. At this point it isn't even the trains that are amazing. They have spent the last 20 years building miniature versions of parts of the world. Ya know what, I'm not even gonna try to describe it. I will send you some pics. Even the pictures just don't do it justice.
We also did exchanges. I went to the Wartenau area, which is just the downtown part of Hamburg, with Elder Silver. My last austausch (exchange). It was pretty good. I have to be honest, I'm really glad that I don't have anymore exchanges. I never did like them and always felt that they were more a waste of time than anything else. The joys of a mission;)
Well that was pretty much the only thing that stood out this week. I feel like this is a lame last email. I guess I could spend some time and write my testimony or something but that would just take forever...plus I have had to talk about what I have learned on my mission like 4 times in these last couple weeks and I'll have to do it again when I get home... ugh fine.
I can't say everything obviously but what I can say is actually pretty simple. The biggest thing I have learned is the reality of the Savior and his atonement. I know that he lived and in his life on this earth he preformed the atonement, the single most important event in history. The atonement makes all things possible. I don't fully understand the atonement but I do know that it works. I know that he died and rose again and because he rose he lives today and because he lives today he can stand by us in all of our afflictions and problems. He can only help us if we let him. I have also learned that God rarely helps those who simply sit waiting for a sign or for God to do something. As we take those first steps he will help us, guiding us step by step, little by little, until we are ready for more. In Helaman 3:35 it says "Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God." Yielding your heart, or in other words giving, to God is not easy. It is very very difficult sometimes. But it is the only way we can be truly healed. It takes time and sometimes it is painful. Salvation never was easy. Elder Holland (as usual) says it better than me; "I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience.Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him?...I don’t believe missionary work has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is, nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul."
As a missionary I have gone up and down. One day you are motivated and the next you wake up feeling like a box of bricks. The truth is that missions are hard and missionaries are not perfect. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we feel inadequate, sometimes we make mistakes but I always found comfort in what Elder Holland said at a mission presidents seminar: "Now Presidents, if the missionaries can come to love and appreciate it, the Atonement will carry them perhaps even more importantly than it will carry their investigators. You let them know that when they struggle, when they are rejected, when they're are spit upon and cast out and made a hiss and a byword, they are standing shoulder to shoulder with the best life this world has ever known, the only pure and perfect missionary that ever lived. They have reason to stand tall and to be grateful that the Savior and Redeemer of the world knows all about their sorrows and afflictions, and that for a moment or two in their lives, they will understand what he went through for them. The only way to salvation is through Gethsemane. The only victory is on the summit of Calvary. Welcome to the journey of the disciples of Christ."
I am so grateful for the time that I have had and still have to be a full time missionary, to be called to bear witness of Him and the reality of His atonement. I don't think I have ever felt so inadequate in my position and calling than I have as a missionary. I have never had to rely on him more. I have never felt more of a need for the presence and comfort of the spirit in my life. In my farewell talk I spoke of how in the earlier stages of my life I built my testimony on those of others and looked to others wanting, one day, to have a testimony like theirs. I don't know if I am there yet, but I do know that I no longer stand on the shoulders of others. I have a personal testimony of him, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. I know that his Atonement is real. I have tried it and I know it can heal us and "fill us up". It can fill the emptiness in our souls. I know that he can lighten our burdens, even when we have been carrying them for so long that we have ceased to notice the unnecessary weight we are carrying. I love my Savior. I love him because he loved me first.
Well I gotta go. I can't wait to see you all in a little more than a week. I love you and hope you have a great week. Signing out for the last time, this is Elder Trevor Bone, a son of the Living God. I seek not for power, but to pull it down. I seek not for honor of the world, but for the glory of my God, and the freedom and welfare of my country. And thus I close mine epistle. May the Force be with you, today and forever. Amen
Elder Trevor "Longbow" Bone
Little Child of the West Winds
The Duke of Awesome
Sent from the tablet that I wish I had...
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